David Rudin

Per Mertesacker and the joys of awkwardly tall footballers

It’s all gone Per shaped Per Mertesacker, the Arsenal defender who had played 37 minutes of competitive football in the last 13 months before starting and winning the FA Cup, celebrated by sharing an ungainly hug with a fan. It was Peak Per™: at once winning and awkward; the jolly German giant. Among Arsenal fans, Mertesacker is …

How Shakespearean is Craig Shakespeare?

A literary investigation, with apologies to my high school English teachers Leicester City’s new manager is named Shakespeare, and as you would expect soccer scribes are proving pathologically incapable of resisting such low-hanging fruit. “Like his famous namesake, English playwright and poet William Shakespeare, Leicester City’s manager Craig Shakespeare is hoping he can add a few …

How not to write a Geoff Cameron profile

An object lesson from NBC Sports (Geoff Cameron Official Fan Page/Facebook) Geoff Cameron is an interesting person. I don’t mean that in the dismissive way your grandmother might refer to a third cousin who is now finding himself by taking a metallurgy class every Wednesday night. He is an outspoken American plying his trade in the …

Atlanta United’s guide to soccer lingo…the expanded edition

Because soccer can never have too many Britishisms Look at these guys…erm, gents Someone in Atlanta, clearly laboring under the assumption that the internet, cable, and all communication technologies don’t exist, decided today would be a good day to release a guide to speaking Soccer. Or is that football? Anyhow, before Atlanta United makes its …

Don’t cry for Claudio Ranieri

He for whom the bell dilly-dongs Claudio Ranieri, who was fired on Thursday, did many surprising things in his time with Leicester City. Most obviously, he led the club to its sole Premier League title. That is, reasonably enough, how soccer culture will remember him. In looking back on his time with club, however, the …

Shut your pie hole about Wayne Shaw’s pie

The whole episode is an exercise in poor taste Everything about the story of Wayne Shaw, Sutton’s reserve goalkeeper who ate a pie on the sidelines during his team’s match against Arsenal, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Shaw, as you have likely seen in countless memes, images, and gifs, is a very large man. …

What Arsène Wenger obituaries reveal about their authors

If we get ready for the bad retrospectives now, they’ll hurt less when published (Illustration by Devin Dulany) The end is near for Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger. I’m not here to give you the exact date of his retirement—that’s a job best left to soothsayers and Robbie Savage—but Wenger is clearly much closer to the end …