Ancelotti’s eyebrow will make everything OK

Ignored and unwanted by Real Madrid, James Rodriguez has been loaned out to Bayern Munich and the loving eyebrow of Carlo Ancelotti for two years. He happened to arrive at his new club on his birthday and, to demonstrate just how much more they care about him than Real Madrid, Bayern had a birthday cake waiting for him.

Zidane, meanwhile, probably doesn’t even know that James has a birthday.

Carlo Ancelotti, who was with James in Madrid for a year, possesses the two things that the Colombian looks for in a manager: 1) He knows James’ name, and 2) He wants James on his team.

From Bayern’s official site:

“I play where the coach wants me to,” commented James, who looks back fondly on his season under Ancelotti. “I wanted to work with him again. We have a good relationship and he pushed hard to get me here.”

It’s a brilliant deal for everyone involved. James gets a fresh start on another world-class team and a birthday cake, Ancelotti gets a player with Champions League experience and something to prove, and Real Madrid retain ownership of James without having to hear him whimpering on the bench. Everybody’s happy.