Lionel Messi

There’s going to be a Leo Messi amusement park in China

Like Disney World and LegoLand, but with more tattoos Leo Messi will become the first footballer with his own amusement park when the Messi Experience Project opens in Nanjing, China. But instead of keeping it to himself like Cartman in that one episode of South Park, he will generously let other people enjoy it, too. The press …

Lionel Messi bleeds, scores, wins El Clasico

Lionel Messi chooses a good time to score his 500th Barcelona goal For the second time in four days, Lionel Messi laid on the ground bleeding from his face during the first half of a match. Like Juventus before them, Real Madrid seemed determined to destroy Messi. And an unpunished elbow to the mouth from …

Messi brand cocaine explains so much

Could Leo Messi’s physical transformation have something to do with all the coke branded with his name? Peruvian police seized 1,417 kilos of cocaine worth $85 million on the street, much of which was decorated with Leo Messi’s name and likeness. From ESPNFC: “Most of the 1,288 packages of drugs were camouflaged as squid filets and …