Dirty Tackle

Football. Culture. Nonsense.

 

This sport takes itself too seriously. Everything from pre-match handshakes to the very name of the game (soccer? football? futbol? calcio?) gets scrutinized and debated. We’re here to pop that balloon and give the beautiful game the podcast that it truly deserves: One that’s childish, nonsensical, and occasionally funny. Hear weird news, comedy sketches, infighting, and merciless takedowns from the writers and editor of the award-winning blog DirtyTackle.net.

Help support the show by contributing at Patreon.com/dirtytackle and contact us at dirtytackle[at]gmail.com.

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August 18, 2017

We’ve got dirty tackles for wantaway players who fake injuries and illness (looking at you Philly Couts and Alexis Sanchez), anyone who gives Kaka a red card, and the most egregious half and half shirt of all time. In addition, the president of Huddersfield Town entices us to visit the home of the Premier League’s newest darlings, Bob Bradley’s neighbor stops by, there are Life Ref rulings on when the transfer window should close and Diego Costa’s existence, and we promote the world’s best new product: The Transfer Fee Generator! Finally, there’s another round of TRANSFERMAGEDDON with Paulinho’s move to Barcelona, PSG’s pursuit of Kylian Mbappe, and Gylfi Sigurdsson at Everton, and even a bit of Jonny Evans intrigue.

To hear our bonus “DT Extra Time” segment, contribute and join the ET Gang at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week we’re talking about Serie A’s return to glory, the first round of Premier League action, and FIFA 18’s new “Mino Mode.” 

August 7, 2017


As the title suggests, this episode has a whoooole lot of Neymar talk. Brooks, Ryan, and Theo discuss the TRANSFER OF THE MILLENNIUM (which one DT host didn’t think would happen), including who deserves a dirty tackle for the part they played in the saga and whether it was a good move for the Brazilian. As an added bonus, the “Extra Time” segment from the previous episode is included so anyone who isn’t already a member of the ET gang can hear what they’re missing. Topics include the Miami Clasico, ways to improve the MLS All-Star game, and Bob Bradley’s return to LA.

To hear a new Extra Time segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week it’s predictions for the new Premier League season.

August 4, 2017


This episode is a Neymar-free zone as Ryan isn’t letting Darron Gibson badmouth his own club, Brooks is appalled by the Emirates Cup, and Theo swipes left on Tinder as Man United’s sleeve sponsor. Jurgen Klopp issues a stern warning, and Life Ref decisions are made on divers getting banned in the Premier League, Freddy Adu’s ever curious career, and clubs pretending to kidnap new players.

To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, the topics are: the Miami Clasico, the MLS All-Star Game format, and Bob Bradley back in Los Angeles. Contact us at DirtyTackle@gmail.com with your Dirty Tackles of the Week and Life Ref queries, and find us on Twitter at: @DirtyTackle, @BrooksDT, @RyanJayBailey, @TheoMessiDT, on Instagram: @DirtyTackle & Facebook.com/DirtyTackle.

July 29, 2017


As the summer madness intensifies, Ronald McDonald, Daley Blind, and something related to the John Brooks transfer get dirty tackled. We hear from newly appointed LAFC coach Bob Bradley, and the Life Refs pass judgment on rat-eating mayors, Maradona’s hypocrisy, and a reader in need of help getting interested in the Premier League. Finally, there’s another round of TRANSFERMAGEDDON starring mainstays Kylian “Fappy” Mbappe and Neymar “Neymar” Neymar.

To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, the topics are: big-spending Man City, MLS’s billion-dollar offer, and nine year olds signing with Nike. Contact us at DirtyTackle@gmail.com with your Dirty Tackles of the Week and Life Ref queries, and find us on Twitter at: @DirtyTackle, @BrooksDT, @RyanJayBailey, @TheoMessiDT, on Instagram: @DirtyTackle & Facebook.com/DirtyTackle.

Music: Kendrick Lamar – Element (Instrumental) (Reprod. Wocki Beats,) Big Pun – Still Not a Player, Limp Bizkit – Nookie

July 20, 2017


There’s lots of vitriol as Ryan gets curmudgeonly about eSports, Theo lashes out on summer friendlies in the U.S., and Brooks gets heated about manufactured transfer rumors. A listener’s question about switching club allegiances is also debated. To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, we discuss Jose Mourinho, new player initiations, and ESPN’s most influential people in football list.

July 15, 2017


This week, we take aim at Roman Abramovich’s choice of gifts, the Dutch butterflies who shut down friendly football, and the bores at the 2. Bundesliga. We also catch you up on the Summer of Mino, Milan’s awakening, Kyle Walker’s massive transfer, and the shocking host for the 2026 World Cup. To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, we discuss Florent Malouda and the Gold Cup, a Stormzy/Lukaku mixup, and Theo’s review of some new kits around world football.

July 8, 2017


Ryan, Theo and Brooks were all in different countries this week, but they still managed to put together a special minisode covering an unusual tale out of Brazil, a bad plan to boost attendance in Italy, and John Terry’s unveiling at Aston Villa. There’s also a lightening round of TRANSFERMAGEDDON featuring Lukaku, Rooney, Lacazette, Gareth Bale, and poor, poor Alvaro Morata.

June 29, 2017


While we wait in line to see The Garcia Report: The Movie, we discuss Paul Pogba’s dab goal, De Boer twin confusion, children who stalk Leo Messi, Ryan’s lack of journalistic integrity, Gareth Bale’s acting career, and a fresh batch of TRANSFERMAGEDDON madness. We also plug the brand new MLS No-Stars Game! To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, we talk about NBC’s attempt to squeeze some cash out of Premier League fans, the questionable summer diets of footballers, and strange footballer-celebrity love matches.

June 22, 2017

We kick off this episode by going in hard on the Spanish and Croatian prosecutors who are targeting our beloved footballers (#SaveLuka), then we discuss Luka Modric’s love of “Rugrats,” and Leo Messi’s restaurant bills. We also cover another round of TRANSFERMAGEDDON, where we shred rumors about Cristiano Ronaldo moving away from Madrid, Kylian “Fappy Mbappy” Mbappe replacing him, and conclude with a little John Terry talk just to annoy Ryan. To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, we talk about VAR, Dani Alves v Maradona, and Memphis Depay’s neckwear.

June 14, 2017

While we prepare for Video Assistant Referees to take over the world, we discuss the tax evasion GOAT, Argentina’s tactical oddities, and English goalkeepers chasing squirrels. Then in TRANSFERMAGEDDON, we cover a whole host of red hot transfer rumors about Kylian Mbappe, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Diego Costa, and Alexis Sanchez.

To hear an extended version of the show with a bonus “Extra Time” segment, contribute at patreon.com/dirtytackle! This week on DT Extra Time, we talk about Totti’s secret plan for his farewell match, the CIES transfer value rankings, and keepers wearing caps.

June 8, 2017

While we stand in line for the Leo Messi Amusement Park in China, we discuss the latest transfer rumors (is Mario Balotelli going to Borussia Dortmund?), the meanest prank ever pulled, and the eternal delight of chocolate medals. We also cover questionable national team training practices and David Beckham’s Miami land deal.

June 2, 2017

This week’s episode includes discussion on the Champions League final, transfer rumors, and pornstar footballers. Are Real Madrid coffins a real thing? Is Jimmy Bullard still alive? Did Ryan like Francesco Totti’s farewell more than John Terry’s? What about Arsene Wenger’s new contract? All that and more, brought to you by the Huddersfield Tourism Board!

Check out our Patreon page for an extended version of the show!

May 26, 2017

Sponsored by José Mourinho’s new fragrance, episode six begins with a discussion on Man United’s “Treble of Disappointment,” which they capped off by winning their first-ever Europa League title. It also includes dirty tackles for Liverpool’s travel agent and La Liga’s trophy procrastination, another round of “True Are Ya?”, plus rulings on John Terry’s grandiose farewell and Leroy Sané’s tattoo.

May 18, 2017

While keeping an eye out for Diego Costa’s Chelsea championship rampage, we have dirty tackles for Jose Mourinho, bagel deniers, and Ezequiel Lavezzi. We get to the bottom of whether Edinson Cavani has ever eaten a pizza in his life, and we make rulings on Spurs’ stadium farewell ceremony, Inter fans’ protest, and Benfica’s championship scooter.

May 11, 2017

On this week’s episode,we learn some new words. What are “Champagne Wars” and how does one engage in them? It’s debated in “True Are Ya?” along with Arsene Wenger’s attempts at sarcasm. In the Dirty Tackles of the week, Leo Messi is somehow on the receiving end, and in Life Ref, puking linesmen, shirt-tearing managers, and footballer doppelgängers are all scrutinized.

May 4, 2017

On this week’s episode, hear EXCLUSIVE entries from the diary of tortured Man United defender Luke Shaw, plus our Dirty Tackles of the Week (we’re coming for you and your overpriced parking, Philadelphia Union owners), another round of True Are Ya? (Has Paulo Dybala really never been to a movie theater in his life?), binding decisions are made in Life Ref, and we advertise questionable products from Bayern Munich and Francesco Totti.

April 28, 2017

Episode two opens with an important, but very unhygienic, blood drive for Lionel Messi, then we share our Dirty Tackles of the Week (1/1 odds on this segment including Joey Barton), consider the facts and fiction of “True Are Ya?” (did Real Madrid ban their own fans after El Clasico?), and announce our rulings in Life Ref (is video review bad for the game?).

March 23, 2017

In our big debut, Ryan Bailey, Theo Messi, and myself sort through real and fake news (Manuel Pellegrini on dancing with the stars? Arsene Wenger’s parrots? Coutinho’s Mickey Mouse tattoo?) in “True Are Ya?”, offer up our Dirty Tackles of the Week as retribution for improper conduct in the football world, and give our rulings on hot button topics like plane banners, sleeve sponsors, and Cristiano Ronaldo Airport in “Life Ref” (which has an amazing theme song, by the way). Plus hear totally not made up ads for the outrageously priced Miami Clasico and new technology to get you through the international break.