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Meanwhile, in the wilderness of Sweden…
Louis van Gaal walks out of press conference as Man United manager
Omar Gonzalez unveiled at Pachuca in a Darth Vader costume
DTotD: Turkish player tackles opponent, then viciously kicks him in the head
Future News: Sick children make charitable visit Louis van Gaal’s house
Petr Cech forms a festive band with Alexis Sanchez and Nacho Monreal
The most deluded quotes from Sepp Blatter’s suspension press conference
DTotD: Felipe Melo kicks Lazio player in the ear, gets sent off
Massimo Maccarone celebrates goal by having a beer
Chelsea fans support Jose Mourinho, react angrily to winning in first match after sacking
Landon Donovan joins Wambach in crusade against players who aren’t American enough (for them)
Jose Mourinho’s farewell message to the Chelsea players