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I refuse to own tassel loafers, Cristiano Ronaldo

Götze and Balotelli are together on the Island of Misfit Marios

Sergio Ramos compares Champions League final to sex because he’s Sergio Ramos

Jose Mourinho leaves his house

Alexi Lalas has a new rock album and it’s basically okay

Uganda’s Prison League

The Copa Del Rey final was a cavalcade of howlers

John Terry is living life to its fullest

Neymar is clearly unsettled by his wax figure

Andrea Pirlo’s guide to improving American soccer

Bleachers Full of Women: Debate over Timbers Army chant shows why words matter

Bayern celebration turns into player talent show