An exclusive look at an untold chapter of Zizou’s life

On March 11th, Real Madrid announced the firing of Santiago Solari and the reappointment of their 2018 UEFA Champions League winning manager Zinedine Zidane. Like the two most popular kids in your high school, their break-up didn’t last long. Only ten months of “strategic” yellow cards, commercials with David Beckham, and a Ronaldo farewell separates the French legend’s tenures at the Bernabeu. Late last week, many experts believed the coveted position would go to Jose Mourinho.

But astute French R&B music historians knew the World Cup winner predicted this exact scenario decades ago.

In the summer of 1996, Zidane recorded a spoken word guest feature on a track for the popular French R&B group Bisou II Men. The song was slated to be an anthem for the French National Team during Euro 96. Radio play of the single was underwhelming, with many listeners claiming lyrics were more about freaking than soccer. Record company executives ceased production of the CD single due to low preorder sales.

Since the year of its release, the 11-minute guest feature gained an underground following as his lyrics predicted career milestones. Disguised as a series of answering machine messages to a former lover, Zidane hints at events such as headbutting Marco Materazzi, his UCL winning goal against Bayer Leverkusen, and this second Real Madrid managerial stint. Some even theorize, that if played in reverse, the words “Gareth is dead” can be heard.

Trade of the single is highly illegal, but Howler Magazine was able to obtain a copy of the lyrics. Below is an excerpt.

Hey Girl

It’s your boy Zou Zou

You know you missed me

I hear you and those other men aren’t working out

I don’t want to say I told you so but [soft giggle]

I got a little secret for you

I’ve been thinking about you all day and night

I still don’t know what happened to us

One night we were drinking champagne in Kiev

Then I was out the door

I only wanted to take you to the garden of Eden

But all you could see were the hazards

Don’t you see we were meant to be to be?  

We use to sit on my couch on Sundays rolling Dutch Masters

Now I see you on TV getting rolled by the Dutch

Things weren’t always perfect between us

I don’t only remember the good things

I remember the bad

We know where we are

Life is like that, so let us be inconsistent together

I won’t list the 12 points for why you need

Because there is only one thing that matters.

Zou Zou loves you, girl

Oh yeah

Just give me a heads up

So I can make sure I get my jeans tailored

Julien Llerena is an Austin-based writer who has never met an ankle he didn’t want to kick. Follow him at @JulienLlerena.