— Kuopion Palloseura (@KuPS1923) March 28, 2015
Obscure football shirt collector Freddy Adu, the United States’ most experienced ambassador, has joined Veikkausliiga (Finland’s top division) club Kuopion Palloseura on a one-year contract.
This will be the 11th club of Adu’s 11-year career, which famously began at the age of 14 with DC United in MLS. It will also be the eighth country Adu has played in (the U.S., Portugal, Monaco/France, Greece, Turkey, Brazil, Serbia, and now Finland), though he has also had trials or trained with clubs in several others (England, Norway, the Netherlands).
Though all of this moving around for limited playing time doesn’t make for the most successful football career, it does set the 25-year-old Adu up for some incredible opportunities once he decides to hang up his boots (and his frequent flier card) — something the vast majority of footballers aren’t prepared for.
Adu’s unique playing career will make for a non-fiction best seller one day that will surely be turned into a major Hollywood film. Then, with all of his experience living in foreign lands, he’s got to be a shoe-in for a U.S. Secretary of State nomination in about 20 years.
Some might feel bad for Freddy Adu and his life as a footballing nomad, but we’ll see whose feeling bad for who when U.S. President Fredua Koranteng Adu* is handed the World Cup trophy after turning his country into the greatest power the sport has ever known.
*Yes, he was born in Ghana, but the requirement that a presidential candidate be born in the U.S. is automatically waved for anyone once nicknamed “the American Pele.”