Man United have been absolutely decimated by injuries (on top of their poor form). Just look at this list, which doesn’t even include David De Gea, who hurt himself during warmups ahead of Man United’s Europa League match against Midtjylland (which Midtjylland — this Midtjylland — won 2–1).
Since just about everyone on the team is hurt, they’ve had to call in reinforcements from the reserves, leaving them with a bench that looks like a bunch of extras from a body spray commercial.
You might be able to name one of these guys. If you can name two, congratulations on having a son on Manchester United’s bench tonight.
Louis van Gaal probably just addresses them with an assigned set of exasperated glances. “Three sighs and an eye roll? I think he means you, blondie.”
Quiz answers (from left to right): Will Keane, Regan Poole, Joe Riley and James Weir…but am I making those names up? You don’t know!