The ultimate goal every Welsh club should have

Landon Donovan has taken an “advisory role” with Swansea City as they are now under American ownership and he has a clear vision for the Welsh side: Become America’s team.

He explained his hope for the club in an interview with their official website:

“I think a lot of clubs are trying to reach out into the American market, or the Chinese market, the Indian market or the South American market,” Donovan says.

“And I think Swansea City are certainly becoming more known in America.

“We have an advantage if we do things right because we have people involved who are American and people who genuinely care about the club.

“I think the Swansea name will get bigger and bigger in America and elsewhere.

“I think most likely every pre-season should be in America. That makes sense for a lot of reasons. You have to keep building the profile and promoting it.

“Eventually the hope is that this becomes America’s club one day.”

It will obviously take more than just a few preseason trips to the United States for Swansea to become America’s club. Here are some ideas to put them over the top:

• Hire an American manager—Er, actually, maybe skip this one.
• Change the club’s nickname from The Swans to “The Baconator Freedom Eagles”—Think of the T-shirt designs this would lead to! Every Walmart in the U.S. would sell out of them immediately.
• Move the club to St. Louis—America’s club…in Wales? Come on. They’re already outside of England, so why not move a little further away and set up shop in America’s heartland to prove their commitment to the fans?
• Refuse to be relegated—Swansea are currently in the Premier League’s relegation zone and are in serious danger of going down. But America doesn’t have promotion and relegation, so this isn’t gonna fly. If they do finish in the bottom three, Swansea must refuse relegation on the grounds of adhering to their American principles. Leave that stuff to a club aiming to be Croatia’s team like Burnley or Hull City.
• Sign a star player from MLS—Want to get America’s attention? Then you need to make a statement signing. Someone like Chicago Fire legend Bastian Schweinsteiger or New York City FC icon Andrea Pirlo. The only way to truly capture American fans is to sign one of their own to a massive contract.
• Do Moneyball—I’m not entirely sure what this means, but I saw the movie with Brad Pitt and the guy from Superbad and both of their characters were a lot smarter than everyone else in the film, so it must be a pretty good thing to do.
• Raise the ticket prices for locals and let Americans in free—The move to St. Louis will take some time, so while that’s being arranged, Swansea will have to entice American fans to come watch them at Liberty Stadium (this is a good name for a stadium, but “Statue of Liberty Stadium” would be better). Free tickets for anyone who can prove they are American is a great way to do that. And to ensure there’s space for them, they should make locals pay five times whatever they’re paying now. You have to prioritize.
• Start playing in Liga MX—If you want to be popular in America, you should play in the league that gets the highest TV ratings in the U.S. The travel would be difficult, but, hey, becoming America’s club is very important for 18th-place Swansea.