McDonald’s, Coca-Cola call for Sepp Blatter to immediately stand down, Blatter says no

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Like the guy who tries to break up a fight after the police have already arrived, McDonald’s and Coca-Cola have finally decided that enough is enough and called for Sepp Blatter to immediately step down as FIFA president. Because they both just happened to Google Blatter’s name for the first time last night.

McDonald’s says:

The events of recent weeks have continued to diminish the reputation of FIFA and public confidence in its leadership. We believe it would be in the best interest of the game for FIFA President Sepp Blatter to step down immediately so that the reform process can proceed with the credibility that is needed.

And Coke (via the Guardian):

Coca-Cola, one of five top-tier Fifa global partners, said: “For the benefit of the game, the Coca-Cola Company is calling for Fifa president Joseph Blatter to step down immediately so that a credible and sustainable reform process can begin in earnest.

“Every day that passes, the image and reputation of Fifa continues to tarnish. Fifa needs comprehensive and urgent reform, and that can only be accomplished through a truly independent approach.”

These long overdue statements come A FULL WEEK after Swiss authorities charged Blatter with suspicion of criminal mismanagement and misappropriation of funds. Naturally, Blatter, who is due to vacate his office in February, has told McDonald’s and Coca-Cola to go fuck themselves.

Welp, it was worth a try. But at least McDonald’s and Coke’s hands are clean now.

UPDATE: InBev decided they want a piece of this last second face-saving mission, too.

“Hey guys, wait for me!” — Visa