I’d like you to meet my old friend, the Capital One Cup. We first became acquainted with each other two years ago and now we have been reunited, which means I have won a trophy in 2016 and you have not. What a pity. A hilarious, wonderful pity.
This trophy is especially pleasing to me because it is a reward for something called “loyalty.” Do you know what loyalty is, Pep? Of course you don’t. Allow me to explain it.
I committed to allowing Willy Caballero to play all of our Capital One Cup matches. I gave him my word. So when he conceded five goals to Chelsea in the FA Cup a week before the Capital One Cup final, I did not waver in my support for him. He started the match and he saved three penalties in the shootout to help us win this lovely trophy that you do not have. I stood by my player and he demonstrated his appreciation for it.
On a related note, I see that your current club lost their most recent match. I find it amusing that after you announced that you will abandon them to take my job at the end of the season, your lead in the Bundesliga has been cut to just five points. Perhaps your players are finding it difficult to perform at their best for you when they know you have already made your next move.
Yes, I know that my team also lost on this day, putting Man City in danger of only qualifying for the Europa League next season when I am gone and you are in charge. This would also be a pity. A hilarious, wonderful pity.
So, Pep, I have my little silver parting gift, I have my integrity, and I have the chance to condemn you to a well deserved season in Europa League purgatory. Though I am not happy with the way in which I am being forced to leave Man City, I must say that I agree with Jurgen Klopp, your old nemesis and the man who just so happened to beat me in the Premier League a few days after I beat him in the Capita One Cup final, in his assessment of the situation when he said the following…
Someone was happy that Bayern lost tonight https://t.co/duhJQNVp2v
— Bayern & Germany (@iMiaSanMia) March 2, 2016
Manuel “Your Worst F*&%ing Nightmare” Pellegrini
P.S. Perhaps next time you’ll just wait until the end of the season to announce your next move like everyone else.
P.P.S. Jurgen says hello. And he adds one more “hahahahahahaha.”