Colombia-Paraguay coin flip proves Copa America Centenario is cursed

This is it. Definitive proof that Copa America Centenario has been cursed by the football gods for being an orgy of greed and incompetence.

Prior to Colombia’s 2–1 win over a 10-man Paraguay, there was the coin toss. And on the first attempt, something unusual happened: the coin landed on its edge. IT LANDED ON ITS EDGE.

The match officials and captains had a giggle about it, but this was surely the nervous laughter of men frightened to their core by the supernatural occurrence they just witnessed with their own eyes.

This is what happens when you charge $40 for parking, price fans out of being able to fill the stadiums, disrespect national anthems, and have kitmakers who can’t even spell their partner countries names’ right. This is a warning! The tournament will be smited for these egregious offenses! Repent! REPENT!