2018 World Cup mascot candidates narrowed down to Space Tiger, Pervert Cat, and Cristiano Wolf

(FIFA)

(FIFA)

FIFA has narrowed down the candidates for the role of official 2018 World Cup mascot to three: Tiger, Cat, and Wolf. They have each been given distinct personalities and the Russian public is currently voting on which they want to represent the tournament. Here is a bit more info on each of them…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/kVK6b6r-G3U

Space Tiger is clearly the best, so we’ll start there. According to FIFA, “Tiger has great speed and stamina and likes to run with the ball — sometimes getting carried away and running the whole length of the field.” This is perhaps the least interesting sentence ever used to describe anything. Space Tiger wears a cosmonaut suit though, and that’s awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/uDleFBho4lU

Next is Pervert Cat. FIFA says: “As a cat, he has a natural affinity to balls of all kind [steady! — Ed.]. He trained a lot with his brothers, masterminding midfield combinations and successfully anticipating shots when playing in goal. He has always got his eye on the ball!” I’m pretty sure he has a sexual relationship with the ball.

Finally, there’s Cristiano Wolf. Why do I call him Cristiano Wolf? Watch this and tell me they didn’t base him on Cristiano Ronaldo:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/NTCD5OusVKY