HomeDirty TackleSeveral positives that will hopefully dry Falcao’s tears

Several positives that will hopefully dry Falcao’s tears

March 21, 2015


Radamel Falcao is sad. After missing out on Colombia’s exhilarating World Cup run due to injury, his loan move to Manchester United has been little more than a different brand of awful with four goals in just 19 appearances and a demoralizing run out for the U-21s in which he only lasted 71 ineffective minutes. And now Falcao’s friend and former agent, Silvano Espindola, is apparently telling the press that the striker is sitting in a puddle of his own tears.

From the Guardian:

“We talk a lot. I’m not going to say that he feels happy because he’s not,” he said. “We’ve spoken many times and cried together. It’s not an easy situation because every player wants to play and every goalscorer wants to score goals, that’s normal.”

Espindola is right about that. These things happen and it’s important that Falcao doesn’t lose sight of the positives. Of which there are, you know, some. So let’s cheer him up with a few.

-Instead of facing Juventus in the Champions League quarterfinals with Monaco, he can put his feet up at home and watch Porto v Bayern. That could be a historic upset and Monaco won’t be able to see it because they’ll be running around like losers. Who happen to be in the Champions League.

-Even though James Rodriguez got to be Colombia’s World Cup hero and subsequently earned Falcao’s dream move to Real Madrid, he ended up breaking his foot, keeping him out of action for a couple of months, too. And the rehab on that can’t be fun.

-Crying is super healthy! Aside from the release of emotions, tears kill bacteria and keep our eyes lubricated. Falcao probably has the most lubricated, bacteria free in all of Manchester. Wayne Rooney, meanwhile, almost certainly has filthy, painfully dry eyes all the time.

-Playing for Man United’s U-21 team gave a group of youngsters a big thrill and momentarily helped Victor Valdes feel less depressed about consistently playing with the kids without so much as a whiff of first team action since joining the club in January.

-Collecting £260,000 a week to not do a whole lot might have him feeling guilty, but he’s collecting it from a club more than used to doling out unjustified wages and that money can buy a lot of bouncy castles. No man with a different bouncy castle for every day of the week can be unhappy. Winston Churchill said that.

-He’s only at Man United on loan, so a change of scenery is just a few months away. And he still hasn’t had a bad hair day yet.

-Finally, it’s always important to remember that you’re not alone. No matter how sad Falcao has been, Iker Casillas has definitely been sadder.

Previously: An evening in exile with Radamel Falcao





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