Losing 1–0 to Wolfsburg at home after 45 minutes, Pep Guardiola decided to make a double switch, replacing Juan Bernat and Thiago with Javi Martinez and Robert Lewandowski, respectively. The Polish striker then proceeded to scored five goals between the 51st and 60th minutes, putting Bayern up 5–1.
That’s not five goals in nine games, nine weeks, or even nine months. He did that in nine minutes. Needless to say, this is absurd and destroys everything we thought we knew about space and time. When Lewandowski scored his fifth, you could actually see the exact moment that Pep Guardiola’s brain melted.
Meanwhile, on the Wolfsburg bench, Nicklas Bendtner could be heard saying, “Pffft. I could do that. I just don’t want to.” (Update: He entered the match in the 78th minute and he didn’t do that.)
“I scored this many!”