Germany

Germany win FIFA’s Golden Dildo

Germany beat Chile 1-0 to win the Confederations Cup for the first time Germany beat Chile and overcame VAR to win FIFA’s most phallic trophy on offer this year, and continue their domination of international football. And they did it with what was essentially a youth team. Germany manager Jogi Löw left many of his …

When Hannover won the title with a little help from their shoes

This day in football history On 23 May 1954, Hannover won their second German championship, beating Kaiserslautern 5–1. And they did it with a little tactical advantage in footwear. Six teams — the five regional Oberliga champions and one runner-up — qualified for the German championship tournament and were split into two groups. The two group winners then contested the …

When Magdeburg won East Germany’s only major European trophy

This day in football history Krügel with the cup On 8 May 1974, Magdeburg became the only East German team to win a major European trophy, beating AC Milan in the Cup Winners’ Cup final. Under manager Heinz Krügel, who joined Magdeburg in 1966, the club had risen from the East German second division to become league champions …

Lukas Podolski scores a belter in his final international match

It was against England, but still… (DFB/Twitter) Lukas Podolski always saved his best for the international stage and his final appearance in a Germany shirt was no different. Playing against England, the former Arsenal and Bayern Munich striker scored the only goal of the match in emphatic fashion. https://streamable.com/g2x8c Podolski ends his international career with 130 …

HSV issue warning to “feral pissers” who urinate all over their stadium

Take your urine and get out! (Hamburger SV/Twitter) Hamburger SV have a problem on their hands. No, it’s not that they’re currently in the relegation zone. It’s that people are urinating all over the Volksparkstadion. Prior to their DFB Pokal quarterfinal against Borussia Mönchengladbach (which they lost 2–1, conceding two penalties for the decisive goals), HSV …