Though it is fair to say that I, Petr Cech, am a goalkeeping expert, I must admit that I feel unqualified to offer an analysis of Charlie Adam’s goal against Chelsea. I say that because, unlike Tibia Cornwall, I have never conceded a 65-yard goal to Mr. Charles Adam, of all people.

It’s a bit like asking the President of the United States what it’s like to press the button that destroys the whole world in one giant nuclear explosion. He’s never done it, so he just doesn’t know. I’ve never let Charlie Adam score a goal of the season contender from inside his own half, so I have a difficult time comprehending what that level of embarrassment could be like. I can tell you what it’s like to make big saves to help Chelsea win the Champions League final, but this…I’m afraid I just can’t comprehend it.

https://gfycat.com/ifr/GeneralAptAfricanmolesnake

Some people might think that it would make more sense to use the always reliable goalkeeper who has already helped the club win three Premier League titles instead of the younger, clearly unreliable goalkeeper who has never won the Premier League when you’re in the home stretch of a title race. And other people disagree with that sound logic. But that’s OK! Winning the Premier League with ease can be boring, I get that. So I just quietly sit on the bench, ready to provide my usual clean sheets if called upon, and watch things like Courtfall getting his fingers on a Charlie Adam shot from 65 yards away but still being unable to keep it out of the net.

Of course, this wasn’t all Timmo Carhog’s fault. I’m sure these things happen to other flawed goalkeepers all the time. Anyway, that’s really the only insight I can offer on this subject. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to not conceding 65-yard goals to Charlie Adam.