Real Madrid beat Atletico Madrid on penalties to lift the Champions League trophy for the second time in three years. Though much of the game was utterly forgettable dreck, there were several images that will remain forever ingrained upon our memories for better or worse.
The nightmare fuel started before the match did with this horrifying Edvard Munch inspired Gareth Bale haircut.
Pepe was in constant pain throughout the match as the slightest touches from Atletico players were like hammer blows directly to his nerve endings. Oddly enough, his teammates jumping on him after they won didn’t seem to hurt him at all.
After scoring Atletico’s 78th minute equalizer, Yannick Carrasco ran to his girlfriend, Miss Belgium 2013 Noemie Happart, and held a pretty lengthy makeout session with her.
“Why are you putting that pack of condoms in your sock, Yannick?” his teammates asked before the game.
“You’ll see if I score the winner,” he replied.
Referee Mark Clattenburg revealed himself to be a lizard person.
After scoring the winning penalty, Cristiano Ronaldo whipped off his shirt, turning it into the ghost of modesty. He then declared that he knew this is how the match would end.
From Football Espana:
“I had a vision. I knew I was going to score the winning goal. I asked [Zinedine Zidane] to let me take the fifth penalty because I was going to score the winning goal.”
To be fair, Ronaldo has never had a vision that does not involve him saving the day.
Then there’s Zinedine Zidane. A man who has won the Champions League as a player, assistant coach, and now, just five months into his managerial career. France might want to sack Didier Deschamps and make Zidane their manager for Euro 2016 the day before the tournament starts.
And finally, there were the tears of Fernando Torres. How can anything that makes Fernando Torres cry be legal?