Announcing the winner of our annual Full Kit Wanker contest
Technically, we all win when grown adults dress up like this and share the photos with the internet. It was tough to choose. Full Kit Wankers are like Spice Girls—they come in all sorts of flavors.
This is Sexy Suburban Wanker. Though the watch gives him a socks-in-bed kind of vibe that may have cost a few votes.
Dorothy Wanker (she even lives in Kansas City).
Viking Wanker. Reading Howler while scratching your neck with a giant sword is truly the best way to read Howler.
Sympathy Vote Wanker.
Garden Gnome Wanker is our first runner-up.
And finally, the winner of the 2016 Full Kit Wanker contest:
Creepy Child-Sized Uniform Wanker. Honestly, the picture above is good, but what really put him over the top is the follow-up photo from his days in the FKW academy:
Congratulations to Ben for winning this year’s contest and still being able to fit into the clothes he had when he was eight years old, sort of! You win the jersey of your choice from SoccerPro.