Cristiano Ronaldo whispered something to PSG manager Laurent Blanc after Real Madrid’s 1–0 Champions League win, prompting widespread speculation as to what he could have said. DT’s lip-reading experts have closely examined the footage and determined that it can only be one of the following phrases…

“Zlatan’s cologne smells like hot dairy farts.”

“I actually find Leo Messi to be quite charming.”

“Help! Gareth Bale is trying to steal my life and raise my son as his own.”

“I will never return to Manchester United.”

“I’m only doing this to make Rafa Benitez jealous.”

“I hate avocados.”

“I wish I had David Luiz’s hair.”

“Does Angel Di Maria say nice things about me?”

“Rafa is staring at us. Start laughing like I just said something really funny and you think he’s using me incorrectly.”

“Breaking Bad never really did it for me.”