Joey Barton got himself sent off in the 32nd minute of QPR’s visit to Hull for punching Tom Huddleston in the penis. And that might be the least shocking sentence ever written.
He had been shown a yellow card in each of his last seven Premier League matches, so perhaps Barton was under the impression that the Premier League has a rewards promotion where if you collect seven consecutive yellows, you get a free shot at an opponent’s privates. Or maybe he’s just awful. Or maybe both.
Oh, and by the way, Barton was wearing the captain’s armband when he did this, begging the question, “What type of lunatics must you have in your squad to think that Barton is the best choice for captain?” Despite being a man down, Charlie Austin still managed to equalize for QPR just seven minutes later, but Hull went on to win 2–1. After the match, Barton tried to explain that punching a dude in the dick isn’t malicious.
Clarification: Joey Barton is actually someone who puts team above everything except junk jabs.
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.