What happens at Zenit goes viral sometimes.

The week’s most absurd soccer moments

By Sam Patterson

Kaka tried out the “bulldozer.” The referee gave him 0 out of 10 and a red card for his trouble. [source: youtube]

We are reminded yet again why Hulk got his name and why the skinnier kid in all of us should cower in fear of him. [source: /u/LPCochofel]

Miguel Vitor of PAOK Thessaloniki made the unfortunate decision to trust his keeper on a back-pass. We’ll see if that ever happens again. [source: 101greatgoals]

Vanuatu scored this goal and 45 more in a record drubbing of Micronesia. It turns out that 1–0 isn’t the most dangerous lead in football, at least when you’re playing Micronesia. [source: youtube]

And Ronaldo got poked and prodded by gawking TV hosts in Japan. Whether those were peals of laughter or sadness may never be known. [source: Deadspin]