Cristiano Ronaldo’s apology for being a person with feelings, too
“Sorry” Cristiano Ronaldo recently drew the ire of Real Madrid fans by brazenly celebrating his 30th birthday hours after the club lost 4–0 to Atletico Madrid. But…
Nonsense
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Conspiracy Theory: Harry Kane is a character designed by the FA and a marketing company
Harry Kane, the 21-year-old Spurs striker currently enjoying a run of form to rival Lionel Messi’s for best in the world, is not the person he seems…
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The inner monologue of Man United’s press officer as Louis van Gaal defended his long balls
https://vine.co/v/OUPnmJ2Un3O/embed/simple Oh God, what’s happening. What are these papers he has? Are they photocopies of his arse? I really hope they aren’t photocopies of his arse. This…
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Dimitar Berbatov lectures Jack Wilshere about smoking
Well hello there, Jack Wilshere. I see you’ve been caught smoking again. I’ve been caught smoking, too. But there is one very important difference between you and…
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Footballers looking miserable while being unveiled at a new club
The January transfer window has mercifully shut, ending an underwhelming month that had no chance of living up to the hype that was forced upon it. And…
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Future News: Jose Mourinho goes on hunger strike for the duration of Diego Costa’s ban
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has interrupted his self-imposed media silence to announce his plan to go on a hunger strike until the end of Diego Costa’s three-match…
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A collection of professional footballers wearing onesies
https://vine.co/v/Otblx9mVQHI/embed/simple We look back now at a trend laced with regret and despair… Mario Balotelli wearing a onesie while watching the first leg of Chelsea v Liverpool…
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A funny and frighteningly accurate parody of transfer window coverage
https://www.youtube.com/embed/Z4vZMpcPYTI Transfer coverage has morphed into a parody of itself, right down to dildos in the ears of Sky Sports reporters, but there is still so much…
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If it continued… (Atletico Madrid v Barcelona)
The second leg of Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey semifinal against Barcelona had it. A skillful Fernando Torres goal within the first minute, Jordi Alba getting smacked…
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The definitive timeline of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo playing for the same club
Lionel Messi recently expressed his willingness to play in the same team as Cristiano Ronaldo in a supremely hypothetical world where that might be possible somehow. Now…
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If it continued… (Man City v Arsenal)
Arsenal finally decided to adapt to their opponent instead of the people in their dressing room mirror and ended up beating Man City 2–0 at the Etihad.…
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27 reasons to love Nicklas Bendtner on his 27th birthday
For some perplexing reason, January 16th is not a celebrated holiday around the world. Alas, we are expected to go to work and carry about our day…