Random musings of two-goal scorer Fernando Torres before he falls asleep
I did it! I scored my first two goals ever at the Bernabeu to eliminate Real Madrid put Atletico Madrid in the Copa del Rey quarterfinals. I…
Nonsense
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Who did the better Cristiano Ronaldo impression: Mario Balotelli or a dog?
https://vine.co/v/ODLtHXjE30l/embed/simple If Reese Witherspoon takes to the stage at next month’s Oscars, grasps her Best Actress gong and shouts “Siiiiii!” at the assembled audience members before peacing…
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Several possible explanations for Cristiano Ronaldo’s Ballon d’Or mating call
(Reuters) As expected, Cristiano Ronaldo won his second consecutive and third overall Ballon d’Or on Monday. And he punctuated his acceptance speech by bellowing “Siiiii!” Here are…
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In defense of selfie sticks: football’s latest enemy
There is a new outrage in football and clubs are quickly starting to take action in order to stop it before it completely ruins the game forever.…
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David Moyes politely sticks it to everyone after beating Barcelona
David Moyes, a once widely respected football manager who unwittingly signed up to become a clown pinata when he took charge of Manchester United, claimed a sliver…
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If it continued… (Spurs v Chelsea)
Spurs gave Chelsea a surprise by coming back from 1–0 down to win 5–3 at White Hart Lane on the first day of the new year. A…
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Conspiracy Theory: Opposing teams actively trying to beat Chelsea
Thanks to Jose Mourinho’s bold commitment to exposing the truth, we have already established that ball boys are conspiring against Chelsea. And after last weekend’s controversy in…
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Future News: Liverpool hoping to add new scapegoat in January
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has made it clear that the club will spare no expense to bring in a new, world-class scapegoat during the January transfer window.…
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Dimitar Berbatov is…The Continental
(Getty) Well hello there. I see you’ve caught me trying my hardest at football. Of course, we both know that I’m capable of scoring from this position.…
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The dystopian future in which Xavi is Barcelona manager
Xavi recently expressed his desire to follow in Pep Guardiola’s footsteps and become Barcelona manager once his playing career comes to an end. Though this might seem…
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Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s expert analysis of the Champions League round of 16 draw
The time has come. The prayers to myself to finally make this the season that I, Zlatan, win the Champions League have been completed and the Champions…
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Future News: Man City take every NYCFC player on loan in hopes of finding another Lampard
Manchester City have decided to take every player signed to MLS affiliate club New York City FC on loan for the remainder of the season just in…