If it continued… (Real Madrid v Atletico Madrid, Champions League final redux)
The 2016 Champions League final ended with a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty and a lot of utterly exhausted players. But what if the match had not gone to…
Nonsense
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Jose Mourinho leaves his house
Jose Mourinho has left his house. He could be going to sign his Manchester United contract. Or to buy a gift for Louis van Gaal, his dear…
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Andrea Pirlo’s guide to improving American soccer
In a recent interview, NYCFC midfielder Andrea Pirlo offered his views on youth development in the United States and how that impacts the quality of play at…
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Experts: Europa League trophy spent too long in Sevilla captivity to be released back into the wild
Silverware experts have agreed that the Europa League trophy has simply spent too long in Sevilla’s possession to be released back into the wild or another club’s…
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Conspiracy Theory: Louis van Gaal behind Old Trafford evacuation to prolong his Man Utd stay
Manchester United’s final match of the Premier League season had to be abandoned and Old Trafford evacuated due to a “suspicious device” found in a bathroom at…
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A brief conversation between Sergio Ramos and Axl Rose
https://www.instagram.com/p/BFRnM3Ti9Wo/ And now, a brief conversation between Sergio Ramos and Axl Rose… Ramos: Axl Rose! Can we get a picture? Rose: (grunts) Ramos: I love your music!…
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Future News: UEFA hires extra security to handle Zidane and Simeone at Champions League final
With the 2016 Champions League final now set to be a rematch of the 2014 final between Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid, UEFA has announced plans to…
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A night in the stands with Cristiano Ronaldo
The first leg of Man City and Real Madrid’s Champions League semifinal was stupendously boring and Cristiano Ronaldo had to sit in the stands and watch it…
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Future News: Aston Villa launch investigation into all their players not caught with laughing gas
Following Aston Villa’s announcement that striker Gabriel Agbonlahor has been suspended for being pictured with laughing gas canisters, the club has also announced an investigation into all…
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Text messages from Roman Abramovich
A melancholy Roman Abramovich was caught on camera with his texting finger hovering over his phone as his Chelsea put on a dismal performance in a 3–0…
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DT Exclusive: The Jurgen Klopp halftime team talk that inspired a miracle
Liverpool conceded two goals in the first 10 minutes of the second leg of their Europa League quarterfinal against Borussia Dortmund, replacing the melodically vibrant pre-match unity…
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How to tell when Barcelona are actually in crisis
Barcelona were eliminated from the Champions League by Atletico Madrid for the second time in three years and have now lost three of their last four matches.…