Pep Guardiola is losing his mind
It’s finally happening. Pep Guardiola is collapsing under the weight of his own genius and the Audi Cup, of all things, is proving to be the catalyst…
Nonsense
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Falcao’s ongoing career is a shared hallucination we are all perpetuating
For the last two years, the once exceptional Radamel Falcao has been a ghost floating through Manchester United, the Colombian national team, and now Chelsea. His utterly…
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Sergio Romero might need our help
Manchester United have announced the signing of goalkeeper Sergio Romero and something seems very wrong. Is that the look of a man who is happy to join…
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How to build a fantasy football team you will forget about in two months
Excitement for the new season is rising and with preseason friendlies unable to fill the void, we turn to fantasy football to try and feed our insatiable…
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Future News: FIFA denounces comedian for throwing insultingly small denominations of money at Sepp Blatter
FIFA has admonished comedian Lee Nelson for throwing money at outgoing president Sepp Blatter in denominations that the governing body has described as “worthlessly small.” “What happened…
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How FIFA’s official world rankings are compiled
The FIFA/Coca-Cola World Rankings for July have been released and as usual, there are some curious placements. Argentina have replaced the world champions in the top spot…
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Brazil celebrates one-year anniversary of absolutely nothing happening
All of Brazil is celebrating the one-year anniversary of a day in which absolutely nothing happened within its borders. According to remaining documents and government records that…
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Steven Gerrard tries to fit in during his first training session with the LA Galaxy
Gerrard: Oh. My. God. Robbie, can you believe that I’m totally, like, an LA Galaxy player now. It’s totes amazeballs, isn’t it? I mean, for real. Keane:…
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What to do when you’ve been transfer banned, by FC Barcelona
(@FCBarcelona) In April 2014, Barcelona were given a 14-month transfer ban by FIFA for breaking rules related to the transfer of players under the age of 18.…
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Why Chelsea acquired the sad remnants of Falcao
Chelsea have officially announced the signing of Radamel Falcao on a season-long loan. Though some critics have quibbled that his abysmal form with Manchester United last season…
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Conspiracy Theory: The USA’s masterplan for ultimate Women’s World Cup success
-Get tournament in Canada, which is close enough for a large number of U.S. fans to attend, but without potential for accusations of host nation bias. (The…
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DT Exclusive: Sergio Ramos’ Manchester United transfer demand
Sergio Ramos, Real Madrid’s all-time leader in red cards and dropped trophies, reportedly wants to leave the club and only wants to go to Manchester United. No,…